Band of Merry Murderers
This is a background page, intended to give some insight into Urist Maladar McGuffin XVI.
… and don’t even get me started on humans again. Met a crazy half-human elf, one of those monk types, on the road between Candlekeep and Waterdeep. Leosin, methinks. So I get into a friendly arguement with a troll (or was it an ogre? I can never tell the difference), when out of the blue the monster pulls his club on me. How was I to know that tellin him he got some human blood in him would make him mad. Then pulling my warhammer out and implying he should sit on it.
So this human-y elf, see, he’s all quiet like. While I’m entirely sure I would have been fine from that blow the troll gave me (I’d survived a few so far), this Leosin jumps on his back and stabs his eyes. Then proceeds to wander off… a cliff.
So I’m all “Bah, you humans always interfering in a good fight”, like common dwarf post-fight courtesy, y’see? And he has the gall to say “You would be dead were it not for my intervention. You owe me” or something. The gall! Of course, I dont be indebted to anyone, now. Bad for business, having a favor over your head. So I ask how he plans to collect that debt. He just says to me “I’m traveling to Greenest at best speed. You’ll join me there and your debt will be paid”. Never heard of it, so I just gave him my best stoneface and said I’d be there. Stopped north of Candlekeep for the night, only to find Greenest was some three months south.
I gotta give it to that human, though. Most of ‘em don’t think more than a day or so in advance. Like fish, they are. This one had the foresight to ask for a favor months in advance. Very un-humanish. Must be his elfy blood. Half-breed menace.
So I’m off to Greenest. Found me a job as a caravan guard for a minor dwarf merchant. My bloodline be more noble than his, I was well in my place to ask for head guard position. For some reason, he released me of his service before I got to greenest, and left in the company of some other caravan rejects not far from Greenest. Must have hired a new crew. Which is another thing about humans, always looking for work…